You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize