mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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