do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
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You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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