So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize