I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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