Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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