just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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