How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
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