All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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