Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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