are you still at the devil's house?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
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I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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