I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize