he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize