Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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