Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and the officer said have you been drinking

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and i said NOO SIR.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and he said, I am a woman.

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  (864): and the officer said have you been drinking (864): and i said NOO SIR. (864): and he said, I am a woman. http://tfl.nu/8g3i
  Replies (19) Good night (1842) Bad night (6762)
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  (650): View more from California

  this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away

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  (650): this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away http://tfl.nu/b3o0
  Replies (45) Good night (546) Bad night (2865) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.

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  (301): im trying to catch a child molester. call you later. http://tfl.nu/dlxg
  Replies (21) Good night (5162) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.

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  (609): Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand. http://tfl.nu/nkg8
  Replies (44) Good night (15573) Bad night (1478) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep

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  (630): She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xep7
  Replies (41) Good night (18007) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.

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  (716): It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it. http://tfl.nu/m8zx
  Replies (13) Good night (5184) Bad night (1227) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug

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  (815): shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug http://tfl.nu/1b7i
  Replies (3) Good night (714) Bad night (2874) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional

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  (410): There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional http://tfl.nu/r1v2
  Replies (11) Good night (4507) Bad night (1232) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

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  (306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. http://tfl.nu/2id3
  Replies (24) Good night (9884) Bad night (819)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.

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  (218): Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county. http://tfl.nu/h5dk
  Replies (12) Good night (1311) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.

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  (917): I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating. http://tfl.nu/k0kr
  Replies (14) Good night (2121) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward

  (213): View more from California

  There's a lil minaj in everyone

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  (323): I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward (213): There's a lil minaj in everyone http://tfl.nu/33cz
  Replies (7) Good night (1600) Bad night (656)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.

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  (319): I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester. http://tfl.nu/qs45
  Replies (10) Good night (723) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.

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  (609): Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him. http://tfl.nu/iwv9
  Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (283) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.

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  (647): I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me. http://tfl.nu/s96j
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (246)

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