Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize