Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize