three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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