I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
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Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
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Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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