WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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