Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize