Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize