You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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