That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize