You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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