I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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