So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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