Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize