If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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