TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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