it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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