Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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