The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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