Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
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The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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