Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize