dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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