There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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