So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize