You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize