Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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