she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize