I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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