So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize