based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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