You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize