Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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