i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
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It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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