You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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