She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
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Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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