I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
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Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
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Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize